Unsolicited Advice From a First Time Pregnant Mom

Hey everyone, surprise if you haven't heard yet – I'm pregnant and guess what?  It's a little girl named Hazel Rose!  These 22 weeks have been a whirlwind of learning and gathering all sorts of advice and knowledge from everywhere and everyone I can.  I've picked up some pretty neat tips and tricks along the way, and I'm super excited to share them with anyone who's thinking about starting a family, is already on their pregnancy journey, or just wants to know all about what's been going on with me so far.

The Positive Test

Austin and I very much planned this pregnancy.  I am 36 and Austin is 43.  A fun fact I learned from my OBGYN is that geriatric pregnancy starts at 40 now, woohoo!  Austin and I wanted to get our major goals accomplished before bringing a baby into this world such as getting our scuba diving certification and going to Japan.  Once we were ready, we focused on having fun, enjoying each other, and being patient.  The tools I used to help me get pregnant were prenatal vitamins and the Flo app.  The app helps you track your periods and predicts ovulation.  I took a pregnancy test on Black Friday.  Lo and behold, it was positive!  I took 3 pregnancy tests, but still was thinking the tests were a false positive because I'm a skeptic.  If you are in disbelief until your first prenatal appointment, you are normal.  Waiting 8 weeks for my first appointment was tough because I really wanted proof of life.

Influences From Others

People who know you’re working on making a baby are going to be curious and ask you how it’s going, mostly because they care.  For anyone who does that, please be mindful of privacy.  Lots of questions from others will make pregnancy hopefuls more anxious.  Trust me, we will tell you when we have news about the baby.

You are going to feel pressure to tell everyone once you get a positive pregnancy test, but don’t share the news before you’re ready.  My OBGYN suggested after 12 weeks it would be safe to share the baby news due to the decrease in miscarriage risk.  Communicate with your spouse about this so you are both on the same page.  Austin was wanting to tell the whole world right away because he was so happy and excited.  It wasn't easy reeling him in, but it was important to me so we reached a compromise. 

Once you announce the pregnancy, people are going to insert their opinion anywhere they can.  They will make comments about your pregnant body and give you unsolicited parenting advice.  If you are one of those people, please ask for permission before giving advice.  As the pregnant person, take the advice with a grain of salt and set boundaries with the advice-givers.  A polite “thank you” is all you need to say.  I honestly get tired of hearing from people all the negative things about being pregnant.  I may have gotten lucky because I haven't had nearly any issues, but I really wish people would try to focus more on the positive. 

Baby Items

I made my baby registry when I was 12 weeks along because I am all about being prepared earlier rather than later.  I used Amazon and they even sent me a free gift basket for making a registry!  I also have a Pampers Stash account where people can donate money and I can get diapers sent directly to my door using the donations.  Hand me downs have also been really helpful from moms who want to get rid of their old baby items.  It definitely helps that I created a Tiny Patriots line of infant clothing, bibs, hats, and blankets at AP4Libertyshop, so I will be buying a lot from there!  For those of you who want to breastfeed out there, breast pumps are usually covered by health insurance yay!  I also found that getting gender neutral items is a way to save money in the long run for when Austin and I have our next child.

Pregnancy Symptoms & Body Changes

I have had very few pregnancy symptoms thus far.  That's why comparing yourself to other pregnant women isn't always helpful.  My mommy milkers have grown in size quite a bit, so buying good bras is very important!  HOFISH Maternity Nursing Bras are my lifesaver.  Austin bought me Burt's Bees Mama Belly Butter that soothes my skin nicely.  I mostly have been wearing maternity jeggings from Leggings Depot.  It is really hard to find maternity clothes at local stores near me.  I find it most cost-effective to buy non-maternity clothes that are long and flowy, so I can wear them post-pregnancy too.

In the first trimester, I had food aversions, back pain, and a sensitive gag reflex.  To help with nausea, I took B-6 and ate small meals every few hours, even during the night.  Think of yourself as being a baby, needing to eat often.  I did get COVID during the first trimester.  My doctor said I was safe as long as I could breathe.  Lots of tea, cough drops, and the personal Vicks sinus inhaler were super helpful!

Now that I am in the second trimester, I feel physically weaker when I do my karate workouts, not able to do as many pushups as normal.  Giving myself grace is so important during this time!  I also have been experiencing some sciatica.  The TOLOCO massage gun is a great tension reliever.

Learning

I always say knowledge is power, so the more information you can learn before the baby comes, the more control you’ll have.  Austin and I had a blast reading Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook For New Dads together.  My OBGYN also recommended What To Expect When You’re Expecting that answers pretty much any question you have.  Also, the Ovia Pregnancy & Baby Tracker app is fun for learning about pregnancy milestones.  The other thing I learned is that most of what you learn online, your doctor will tell you is untrue.  So, always call your doctor first before playing doctor for yourself.

The Name

Austin and I had a super smooth time coming up with baby name ideas.  For a boy, we selected Wade Joseph and for a girl we selected Hazel Rose.  Our name ideas come from family names on both sides.  Coming up with family names can be really meaningful and a lot easier than picking names at random from a book.  ChatGPT can also help you brainstorm name combinations.

As I reflect on this journey, I realize how pregnancy is a blend of swift moments and lingering days, each filled with its own magic and mystery.  What I've learned most is the importance of personalizing your path to parenthood or navigating pregnancy in your own unique way.  Your feelings, your choices – they're all yours, and they're valid and beautiful.  Embrace every moment, every change, every challenge.  I'm filled with gratitude to have you alongside me in this adventure, and I can't wait to share more of my story with you.

Be free,

Steffi